I don’t want to live

I need a hug, I need to feel like I belong somewhere. (group, society, etc). There's a topic that is so tough for me to talk about and that is my hearing impairment, diagnosis that I have and wearing hearing aids. I know that it may seem cool that they work like normal phones or iPods, but there's a much more worse story behind... I've been wearing hearing aids for years now because of being impaired with "Bilateral Mean Hearing Loss" which isn't such a big diagnosis, if you think about it..But it is...wearing them it always comes as a reminder that the inside part of the ears hurt, that I have to turn them low when I feel like I get too nauseous, etc. Not only this, but like getting used to the fact that they can be chargeable and always having to have a specific routine with them, adds up on that negativity. I've seen them as a positive thing for years, I'm just done with how used to them I got and the fact that I just wanna be NORMAL once..😔

I still have sexual thoughts of my ex girlfriend and I want the thoughts to go away