Im just so fucking tired of fighting with myself on a daily basis along with my health issues flaring up and mental health stuff too I hate having to micromanage every single fucking thing to do with life and people and having to monitor every little thing I want to say and hold back every single fucking feeling and thought about how I really feel but always feeling like I have to swallow it instead so I don't puke it back to others and hurt them but it's goddamned exhausting I'm burnt out overtired stressed out the fuckin nines and just want to be able to be myself with the constant monitoring and worry about what others are thinking and having life be this fucking slog every single day and feeling like I owe so many people so much don't get me wrong I am VERY greatful for they're help support and giving they're time but I feel like there's so much debt because I don't want to be the one who takes and that's it...I'm fucking tired man