for a large part of my childhood, I thought I would die before I got to live past a certain age. I'm not beyond that certain age. And the world seems to be going to shit. My family lives in blissful ignorance, and I feel like everything indo won't be worth it because something or someone is going to destroy it all. I haven't been able to tell anybody this, no one wants to listen. I can vent about other things, but if I mention this, they will tell me things I already know. I'm aware that this is a cycle, that there will be bad people and good people and it will go on and on until the end of time. But sometimes I wish I went though with it when I was younger. I'm not actively suicidal anymore, but sometimes I find myself passively thinking about it instead of doing anything I enjoy. I'm not sure what to do.