I really dont want to meet people who knows me

My mom crashed out on me and my sister abt us being lazy. She LITERALLY threw ALL our clothes on the ground??? That we just cleaned??? The cleanest the room has ever been???? Our room is not your fucking rage room or some shit. It's OUR room. ANDDD she had the absolute NERVE to say "what did I do to deserve this🤧🤧🤧" SHUT UP YOUR THE ONE DOING THIS TO OUR ROOM SHE DIDNT EVEN SAY SORRY. OR "SORRY I HAD TO MESS UP THE THING YOU WERE JUST CLEANING WILL YOU FORIVE ME 🥺🥺" SHE ACTS LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED THAT FUCKING BITCH

I’m frustrated at myself for feeling guilty when trying to draw lines for boundaries. Even though I understand it’s healthy to explain or defend myself at work regarding my current workload or to decide not to go out with friends, I just feel guilt. My brain both understands that I’m not being too unreasonable and I do try to make sure my words aren’t too confrontational or defensive, but at the same time it subconsciously just brands me with just heavy guilt and anxiety and dread. Perhaps it’s not the act of drawing lines that fills be me dread, but the reaction of the person I’m trying to communicate going horribly wrong. But even when it goes in a positive direction, my body still feels ill or I start regretting my decision. It’s a horrid cycle so often times I just go with the flow and deal with the stress of being overloaded with work or listening and going out with people even though I don’t want to. I just wish I could stop feeling this way.