I don't think I want to get better anymore. I am fat, and lack life skills, and a large plethora of things that make my existence pathetic. But, honestly? I really, really don't want to get better anymore. I don't care anymore, not enough to try, anyways. All I want now? Is for it to be all over. And, yet, I can't bring myself to do it. I tried jumping from my window, but my fat ass couldn't fit. I've pondered jumping from a bridge, but there's none st a drivable distance that would guarantee my death. There also is nowhere I can think of the top of my head to tie a rope and hang myself. I am so utterly useless, I can't even kill myself the right way. Dying is supposed to be easy. Not a struggle. The struggle is supposed to be staying alive. At this point, I guess I just wait. Wait until I come up with the way to do it, and then put an end to this horrible experience.