I’ve been almost 2 years of stopping cutting myself. But recently, it’s all I can think of. My arms have been itching like hell. Every thing I feel is met with my wrists aching. I miss it. I’m only clean because I made a promise not to do it while in the same house with my friend. I’m moving out soon. And it’s all I can think of. I can’t keep dealing with this like how I am. I hate it. I just want to cut. If I’m not focused on something, then it’s all I can think about. I just want to feel it again. It’s such a relief when I can feel the blood and the skin and the fat but it’s been so long I can’t do anything but miss it. I feel like I’ve just lost the only thing that’s ever really worked for me and it’s all because I was given the ultimatum of either I stop cutting under this roof or I get put into a long term care facility without my will. I can’t stand feeling like this all of the god damn time. I’m exhausted. Every single emotion just makes my blood rush. I just want to cut.