I’m frustrated at myself for feeling guilty when trying to draw lines for boundaries. Even though I understand it’s healthy to explain or defend myself at work regarding my current workload or to decide not to go out with friends, I just feel guilt. My brain both understands that I’m not being too unreasonable and I do try to make sure my words aren’t too confrontational or defensive, but at the same time it subconsciously just brands me with just heavy guilt and anxiety and dread. Perhaps it’s not the act of drawing lines that fills be me dread, but the reaction of the person I’m trying to communicate going horribly wrong. But even when it goes in a positive direction, my body still feels ill or I start regretting my decision. It’s a horrid cycle so often times I just go with the flow and deal with the stress of being overloaded with work or listening and going out with people even though I don’t want to. I just wish I could stop feeling this way.

I WANT TO RELAPSE SO FUCKING BAD RIGHT NOW IDK HOW I HAVENT YET BUT I CANT TELL ANYONE CAUSAE I FEEL LIKE A PICK ME WHEN NOBODY EVEN FUCKING NOTICES ME </3

I'm feeling insane today, the morning was great, the evening was hell. I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, ADHD and OCD all my life, now that I have hormonal issues it's even worse. I'm really scared about an OCD flare up. I'm not feeling like myself anymore.