I still love what I thought you were. I wish I could see who you really were, are, and want to be. I know you can never like me— I am greedy, I am self-important, self-pitying, and I am just another man— but I still do. I wasted money buying a jacket you used to wear today. I should've played my part better and never had let you have even a hint of my sodomy. Mr. K, you redefined beauty itself for me. Hang in there. I'll hang on too, if only to reassure you with my safe silence. I am too ashamed. I failed you, my old friends, and everyone who shaped who I am now. I will not let your efforts go to waste this time. I'll come back from my sleep someday. Please welcome me back :(( I miss you all..