i feel like i spent most of my teenage years fighting with my mental health and i’ve lost so much time, i never expected to make it past 13 and im now 19, im graduating in some days, im supposed to be also entering uni. but i still feel like im so fucking lost in life, i don’t have many friends and im also afraid to lose the few i have with the end of school. i may like a boy and im confused with my sexuality, im scared to lose him too if i confess or if going separate ways will kill our friendship. i feel like i cannot vent to my best friends, i don’t think i ever did idk why. i feel like im gonna go insane if i don’t relapse rn, or if i don’t smoke and get so fucking high that i go numb but i don’t have anything so i can’t even do that. i feel like im stuck in place while everyone else is moving and living around me. i crave goin back to that rabbit hole i fought so hard to get out of and i don’t even know why. i don’t know anything really