I really wish he would look at me like how he looks at her. But I know he wont. Shes better than me in every way possible. I can spend hours writing letters for him, but I know he would never read them. I doubt he would like some one as pathetic as I am

i swear ive been having like the most SHITTY day possible, i woke up, wasn't motivated enough to brush my teeth or wash my face and i felt like a fucking fatass while eating breakfast and left the house late. While i was at school, during lunch my friend congragulated himself for not misgendering me when THAT SHOULD BE THE STANDARD YOUVE KNOWN ME SINCE SEPTEMBER AND STILL CALL ME A FUCKING GIRL. Then at recess two of my friends were literally screaming the whole time and i got a really bad headache and one of them screamed right in my face so i yelled at them both to "shut the fuck up for literally five seconds" because i was so overstimulated and my head hurt so much. Then one of them started laughing because there was a special ed kid who heard me curse and went "i heard that yknow," which wouldv'e been funny in ANY OTHER FUCKING SITUATION. And then after i blew up at them they proceeded to ignore me then started again with the screaming. theres more stuff but im out of charactersTvT

Really fucking annoying to some that just don't leave you alone at school and constantly spreads negative things about you. Yes you PL, seriously what is wrong with you? From the moment I came into this school you seem really persistent in welcoming me, though rude at times when you cut in conversations frequently when I am the one talking and really talks about racial things that typically points at me - that unease me that is why I became quite distanced from you. WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???? AND CREATE LITTLE SOCIAL CIRCLES JUST TO HARASS AND ISOLATE ME??? SERIOUSLY???? THAT IS HOW YOU HANDLE A GRUDGE IS BY BEING PERSONAL IN MY PERSONAL LIFE? SERIOUSLY WITH ALL THE POLITENESS AND BASICS FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID YOU ARE SUCH A ANNOYING PERSON IN MY LIFE AND ALSO NH TOO NEVER HAVING A CLEAR CONVERSATION WHEN IT COMES TO CONFRONTATION LIKE WHAT YOU MEAN YOU SAID I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING AND WANTED ME TO FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF????? THAT IS NOT HELPING AT ALL...............