so ig people would consider me a smart, positive and energetic person but honestly im js tired my self esteem is in the toilet and I take everything personally whether its about me or not. It's so dumb id want to talk to anyone about this because id want to be a burden to them so all my relationships feel superficial. My boyfriend told me im starting to act shy and kind of dry bc I genuinely cant hold a conversation properly anymore. Also nothing is stopping me from being vulnerable to people I genuinely trust and ik it can build relationships but again id want to burden them and idk why I cant js say it. id want to be energetic and positive and I feel like it would be so much easier if I didnt have friends, like no upkeep and id feel guilty if id meet up with them or reach out to them one day. this probably makes no sense but at least its written