My alcohol father makes me want to commit suicide. He's not an abusive father but why can't he stop drinking?? It's not the drinking that's making me feel hopeless but the fact that he drives far to his friends house or someone else to drink. I don't even know if he's alive when he goes out drinking. And he goes missing for hours sometimes days. And I can't keep on living like this. I worry everyday, every fucking night. And I can't sleep because I keep on waiting for him, crying because I don't know if he is alive or what. I just want to end this shit because I'm so tired of hearing his apologies and excuses, I'm tired of this life and him. I'm scared of loosing my dad cause I still love him. But this is frustrating and tiring, school is a bitch too and financial instability as well as not having out own house is killing me. Problems after problems, I just want to die