I told Marie about it because I needed to know if something was going on and they were hiding from me because I already liked him and I didn't want to make it worse by being attached with him Maria said nothing was going on and then she told Beatrice we shipping it promised me that she was never going to say to anyone and she told it to Beatrice and then Stefan was mad at me Beatrice was mad at me Everyone was mad at me No one was mad at Stefan that's when I realized I actually have no place in this group But I was slowly starting to be comfortable So all I could do was hide myself after two weeks stuff and finally came to apologize for whatever he told me because he sent really mean stuff to me and I said it was OK but by that time I had already relapsed because I was someone who I couldn't recognize I was someone who I left behind in 2024 I was acting like My old self and I hated it and all I could do was go back to self harm in order to cope with it I stopped eating I stopped sleepi