PART 2: I just want to be happy. I just want to be at peace. Even in uneventful moments, even in supposed solitude, I face terrifying questions and realizations from deep inside my mind, and doubts for my future and my standing in this world. I will never feel true happiness or peace at any point in my life, and this is a hard fact that I will eventually have to just accept. The passing of each slow minute feels like a deeper tear, another scratch, on a wound that never seems to quite heal, and throbs in pain with varying intensity. I'm tired of feeling like this so often, of pain, nausea, and doubt being a constant in my life, a threatening, formless, blurry shadow looming and watching over me with sinister intention, forming a glass wall that separates me from the rest of the world, locking me in a cold outside embrace and only leaving me the option to silently watch in flickering grayscale films without emotion, devoid of ideas... Is it really worth it?