today I am thinking about how the two things in life that I really want are not going to happen and that I should probably just accept those facts. it saddens me. I so wanted to be a grandmother and own a little home. However the money my mother left me when she passed I used to pay off my and my daughters bills, a man I was dating at the time said you don't want to buy a house so I didn't because I thought we would be moving in together in his someday. that didn't transpire, he was too busy dating other girls behind my back. what a fool was I. the rest of the money just frittered away after 10 years. so, no home, but a good rental apt (the inlaw apt of my dad's home, he's gone now, my brother, a nephew and his adult son r n the main part). As for being a grandmother, big sigh, my daughter was pregnant and had an abortion. I was devastated and it was hard to be supportive but I was, didn't show how upset I was, she was the one going through more than me. But damn. Just damn.