I'm 16 years old and lately I've been realizing that I'm going to need to change my life. Yea i have a home, going to high school, have food and a mom to call family. But that won't last forever. I don't even know what I want to do when I grow up, am I weird for that? Man, I've done many bad things, had addictions like smoking weed, cigarettes, and sometimes drank. It's hard to change. I was so kind and sweet when I was a small boy. I always think more than I have too. Don't you ever wish to agree that our beliefs make us live, I believe in God, or the devil, or many gods but frankly, that's the only thing keeping you from telling yourself, " I'm only living and real because it, that, or they make me real." I hate how I can't just live. when will we all die? when will an end come. Sometimes anything i care about turns into a question, i want to do good in my grades, looks, hygiene but then, what do i gain? self assurance, i just dont know anymore.