im going to kill myself. there is no point in life anymore. nobody listens to me. nobody seems to give a flying fuck about my anyways. im just a number in the system after all. why would ANYONE care. my mother does not even get to take the time to know me. she does not know what i want to do with my life. she does nto know what i struggle with everyday. the thoughts. the urges. she is a pathetic. she is horrible and i want her away from me. she makes every day harder to wake up. she wants me to be better. she wants me to be obidient and do whatever she fucking wants. i hope she learns her lesson. if i do live i hope she lives every day of her life knowing that she is a horrible person. that she made a kid who begs for valadation but is rewarded with negetivity. i hope she gets what she has coming to her.. i hate her. i hate her so much. i hate myself for hateing ehr too. she is my mom, but is she really? she does not seem to act like one anyways.