i feel inhuman. my mom drank during pregnancy and it has caused me to have so many behavioral emotional and mental issues not to mention their shitty parenting (giving me unrestricted internet access leaving me unattended all the time and hitting me) . I spent preschool-4th grade in and out of mental hospitals and the pandemic really did not help i only started making friends and a real relationship in 8th grade and i know its stupid because we weren't even together for long but right before freshman year started she moved away and cut all contact with me and I was just so dependent on her since then i started doing drugs and pushing everyone away the only time i leave the house is to get more drugs or to hang out with people who have them I used to have thoughts of transitioning when i was younger but ive spent so long repressing the thought i dont know who i am anymore or even who i want to be