Life has been hell lately Worked at a company for years, then had to make a decision on whether I could tolerate problematic staff once I transferred to a different location Bounced between a couple jobs, trying to provide for my family and pay the bills Got into an accident that resulted in surgery and physical rehab and couldn’t work Constantly getting my hopes up and they’re always getting shot down. I’m always letting the people around me down, always feeling like a failure I haven’t felt suicidal in years; this suffocating feeling that I thought I left behind has returned Now we risk losing our house and I keep blaming myself for everything All because I didn’t wanna stay in a toxic work environment, all because I hurt myself bad enough to be bedridden Every job I apply for either don’t respond or reject me My siblings make it sound like a me problem Maybe I am the problem I don’t wanna keep feeling this way But I also can’t go through with ending it I’m in hell