I'm so incredibly lonely and my friends are so unavailable. it's sad that I'll talk to my friends about valuing friendships and agree how awful it is when friends disappear when they're in a new romantic relationship. and they still disappear. being polyamorous isn't even any better. it just means multiple levels of friendship downgrading. what do we do when nothing seems to change this? I got so much more emotional support when I experienced attraction, but now I feel locked out of closeness. I miss the intensity of high school friendships, and I'm in my 30s