I have nobody in my life. My house is just a house with people in it. High school isn’t any better. School Counsellors are biased. Friends aren’t real and I thought they were. I just really want to talk to someone but I can’t muster up enough confidence to call my country’s hotline. I know I need help but I can’t get it. I’m always the one helping and the one who gets used. I’m so tired. I keep trying to end myself but I always ditch it on the last second. Coward. I hate pain and yet I want to die. Everyday the very same thoughts circulate in my head. Even I don’t know what I want anymore: To die or to just cease to exist. Either way, I just want to end my suffering so badly. I try my best to stay positive but it’s so difficult to when I’m surrounded by a bunch of people that couldn’t give two shits about anybody. I just want to end all of this suffering and I know ending it won’t change anything. I don’t know what to do and I’m losing hope in everything as the days go by.