Honestly I feel like sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore. It’s like a ghost version of my is watching me go through my day. I don’t understand math, the equation just sits in my head not doing anything. I feel like I could cry every day. And no one understands me or gets me. I can’t rant to anyone cause then I would seem self absorbed. I feel like I need to stop eating cause I no longer feel hungry. It’s just an empty ache in my stomach. Not hunger, just empty. I like this guy but I can’t tell him cause what if he tells everyone I’m some pathetic loser. What if he hates me. Not to mention he’s my ex’s best friend. I want a relationship but I also don’t. I feel fat, I feel ugly. But most of all I just feel so messed up. I don’t want a therapist because honestly, they just try to find solutions and sometimes forget to listen. I don’t know what I want, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I stopped feeling a long time ago. I want to love, but how do you love if you can’t feel?