I'm so scared for my MRI, the Dr said there's a chance it could be a tumor attached to my spinal cord, or something they can't fix because it's related to one of my other conditions. My legs are slowly going numb, I just want to run again, I want to go to a trampoline park, I want to work as a barista and a hairdresser again without being in pain so bad it makes me want to kill myself, I can't even go out with my partner as much anymore, and it makes me feel awful. I want to die, but I can't because it would hurt the people I love and waste their money they spent keeping me alive. I wish I had never been born. I wish my body worked. I wish my mind worked.