I’ve been thinking about killing my myself. Maybe I’m just thinking about something because I want pity or I’m over reacting but suicide has been one of my escape routes that always been constant. My life isn’t even that bad. It’s not at all now that I’m worrying this down. I have an amazing family who care about me. Especially my mother. She’s been through so much already. A lot of those problems come from me and my inability to be honest with her. She makes me think about my actions and j guess that’s what scares me. I don’t know a lot about myself. All I know if that I’m a coward who would rather escape responsibility through death than deal with the shit of life. I’m so confused with what’s been happening in my brain these last two days. It’s not nearly enough to actually go thru with it. But the biggest plus of it is that I’ll stop thinking, stop worrying about my worth and my future. A future I don’t even know I want anymore.