Might actually be depressed (Im undiagnosed) but I can’t stand the thought of telling someone other than my friend, who doesn’t know the details of how bad it really is. Im so fucking sad all the time and when Im not Im numb or confused or spiraling or overstimulated or a bit manic or obsessive or hateful. I can’t stand this. I can’t stand this. I thought I could survive this but I genuinely feel nauseated at the thought of waking up every day. I have to blast music just to stop myself from thinking about living another day.
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