I'm so tired I don't wanna blame it all on depression but I feel like depression and my own self have just ruined my life all I do is complain and all I can think about is myself and how much I hate everything people try to help me but I just can't seem to take it and im bored and sad and just mad all the time nothings fun anymore and I feel like I take the joy out of things for other people when im around I can't do anything anymore and I just wanna curl up in a ball forever and do nothing but think im so fucking exhausted I can't do this anymore I don't even wanna get better because it's so much work im so fucked up it feels like it'd take me forever to get better and I don't have the energy for that anymore I just wanna be normal I wanna not feel disgusting and lazy and like nothing matters I wish I wasn't like this I wish my family and the few friends I have had to deal with me It'd hurt but I wish they'd all leave me alone to just let me rot away that's all I want im so done