My life is going from bad to worse, I'm afraid of disappointing those I love, I want to believe in myself as much as they believe in me, I can't imagine someone loving me unconditionally, I've always just been a distraction. The closest I ever came to an intimate relationship was when she lost a bet to kiss me. I wish I could apologize to everyone I disappointed. When I die, I hope the earth isn't poisoned by the immense disgust I felt for myself.