In May, I broke up with my ex of 3 years after she cheated on me with one of her hometown friends (who was also one of my closest friends). I barely have anyone left at my university because most of them were closer to her than me. I feel so isolated every second of every day. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and that's mostly all anyone does here. It's hard for me to make friends because I'm weird, and I haven't had any luck dating because of all of the above + I'm chopped. I'm stuck pining for the version of a girl that doesn't exist. The guy she cheated on me with was a total bum who got fired from job after job, but I still did everything I could for him to get him on his feet. I'd apply him to jobs, make him food, etc. I really miss doing that for somebody. And I miss chilling with him. At first I struggled with wanting to hurt him, but mostly I just miss when things were okay. I miss the little family I had. But I would rather die than go back. It wasn't supposed to go this way