I carry demons that I can't really say because they're so disgusting I'll need to be thrown into jail or a mental institution for them. Sadistically hurt an innocent life. I made her existence terrible and it'll remain terrible for the rest of her life. I deserve to be punished for it. I deserve to be killed. I want to be killed. I'm glad that I can't forgive myself and I have to cope. I need to kill myself. People will laugh at me. I feel like the sky has jaws, it opens up and laughs at me. I can't kill myself. I'll just have to live with my sickness and perform fake despair for pity that's cliched. I trapped her in a room. She trusted me. She trusted me this entire time and she hasn't stopped admiring me. Her smiling face makes me want to throw up. I snapped one day, I was sadistic. I hate myself. I have OCD about it.