You can only tell people you’re struggling so many times before it feels like that’s all you’re ever doing. Struggling. I’ve tried to commit suicide many times in the past and took meds for some time, but then I decided to stop. I didn’t want to admit it to people but, I slowly couldn’t afford it and even when I could, I just didn’t want to. There’s no sorry excuse why I didn’t—I just got sick of it and thought it wasn’t needed. I’m not suicidal but I’ve been diagnosed with depression years ago, and it’s still a very prominent mental illness I’ve dealt with. I’m seeing people I know whether they’re good or bad doing something with their lives and I feel like I’m staggering behind. I have no motivation to do even the smallest tasks, and the thought of putting my potential somewhere to see it possibly get crushed reinforces my hesitation in trying at all. I want to do something with my life but it’s hard to feel like I’m living at all I’m not suicidal