I recently broke up with my boyfriend and it was a huge mistake getting with him at first place. I knew he was an asshole yet I still chose him and I don't know what made me do that. He treated me horribly, even sexually assaulted me and it's all my fault for making that mistake. I just wish I was more attentive and cared about myself more, not letting myself down. I feel like I want to commit suicide, I feel like a horrible person and I pushed some of my, now ex, friends away. What's wrong with me. I just wanted to feel loved by a person and immediately chose someone without thinking it enough. God I'm so lonely. I feel so alone and lost, like I'm already a loser and a disappointment at the age of fucking 14.