i know that in my current state of mind a relationship can’t truly be healthy. I know that i’m searching for a father figure, rather than a partner. i think that it would be unfair to get into a relationship knowing this about myself. however, it’s hard being alone, and i do crave that connection. how can i ever get over this and be normal? i’ve been going to therapy for 4 years and still haven’t made a dent in this area of my life. it does feel like i’m gonna be stuck like this forever, and if i do end up in a relationship i won’t actually be happy. i know i would become dependent on them while simultaneously feeling like a burden constantly. why would i ever put someone through that? just doesn’t feel right. not saying that i don’t deserve love ever, just not now. but then that thought of never getting better comes back and makes me feel like maybe i wont get to a point where i deserve love. too many things that i can’t get myself to talk about out loud.