I tell myself I'm okay with letting people go, and I am at first, but then it hits me how much I can't. I used to be apart of a discord server with friends, and they were my lifeline, but we're not friends anymore. I was okay with it until now, when I tried to reach out to one of them. Not to beg to be my friend or say hi; when we were friends, we'd wanted to make a comic together. They draw, I write. Well, I'm writing a book now. By myself. I figured "we don't have to poke at old wounds, just keep it buisness". Apologize for the bother, offer payment, ask for just some sketches. They blocked me. I'd blocked them first after it happened, for their sake. And deep down, I've know all of them had blocked me, forgotten me, moved on. But knowing and *knowing* are different. This isn't the first time I've reached out to any of them. But it'll be the last. I want to die, and it's so stupid to feel that way for people who don't even remember I exist.