It’s getting really hard to act upbeat when I’m always trying to think of when I’ll cut myself next or some sort of way to kill myself in quick and foolproof way. I just listen to cutesy girly anime music to hopefully give me some sort of energy boost, as well as eating too much sugar for a sugar rush. This just makes me fatter and cringy tho… idk any tips on finding energy and motivation to look like a mentally healthy member of society?