Sometimes I wanna put a knife to my skin, even though I never have and don’t think I will - I just have those damn thoughts. I don’t think like that because I hate myself or think I deserve it, I just simply love life a lot. I think living is precious, and each time I remember I’m alive I can’t help but cry from extreme happiness. I feel so lucky to be alive, and I use to hate life. I remember each night before I fell asleep, I would think “I’m gonna wake up the next day.” Then tears would fall from my eyes and I would just scream, scream because I felt such despair by the idea of me waking up the next day. Then in the morning, I would be alive, and again; scream. I hated life so much. Now I’m a bit older, and i remember that me with such sorrow. I wanna feel pain to make sure I’m alive, that I’m not that me that use to wanna die every single second or she would sob til her eyes were swollen and her head got dizzy from not eating. I feel so lucky to be alive, despite all the bad! :D