Is it all a lie? I feel hopeless and helpless. I lost my reason to live and i managed to find it back when it mattered the most. But i don't think I'll be able to reach for the stars if i continue this way. I've lost a lot to my mental health. I didn't live. I never took participation in anything. I'm inexperienced and anxious and not reliable. I don't know anything. I lost my art skills. Now that I'm admitting it it makes my heart clench. I started drawing before I was 3. It sucks. Art has always been a part of me . In 9th grade as I lost my will to live , I found out what I wanted to do in life. I want to make people feel emotions, whether it maybe fear or happiness. I wanted to get into a university with a good qs ranking. With my grades it's far from possible. I don't have any awards or prizes. I don't even have experience. I come home eat something and then hit the sack because I'm too tired. Am i losing the sole reason and dream and my drive to live? Am i going to end up in slums