everytime i hear her name it feels like im getting stabbed in the heart, my chest gets tight, breathing hurts, and it feels like everything just stops. because i hurt her, i hurt her and its all my damn fault. i hear it alot too and its not a pleasant experience. i saw the way she typed and its like her soul was just gone. like all the joy from her was just vaporised. i wish i could apologize, i wish for it alot, but i think they are sick of me and dont want to do anything to do with me atp.