i'm alone again. i told someone that i didn't want to date and just be friends and theyre gone now. a friend was an ass to me and i told them how i felt and how it upset me and theyre gone. i have almost no one again. i can't keep a friend to save my life. i either weird them out, they want more than friends from me and i say no (and im not pretty, or attractive in the slightest, i dont wanna date i just want a fuckign friend) and i just cannot keep anyone around for the life of me. its been like this my whole life. i have ocd and autism and it just makes everything so incredibly hard. i try to be good and a good friend and i show up and hang out and celebrate birthdays and i always always always end up alone. i am so tired of being alone my body physically hurts from it. i just want someone to see and care for me the way i have cared for others. i try my best to communicate and it always goes bad. i just want someone.