I hate that I hate the father of my child. He literally has stepped away and although I am mad at him for being MIA I am more disgusted with myself. I feel trapped, alone, and shameful. Why would I ruine my life having a kid by him? I can't do anything about. The kid is here and I am the one stuck for the rest of my life. I got a letter saying I can claim child support but I dont want to go to court because then he will get rights. Right now his broke ass has no fucking money, no where to live, no car, no job...I rather not have child support if he just leaves us the fuck alone for the rest of our lives. I feel so dumb because I just "had" to fuck him one last time. Now look at me. Stuck and looking stupid. I am so hurt on the daily and I lie to people telling them I am fine. Fuck everything dude.