Last night I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe and almost threw up. I don’t even know why, I have so much on my mind. I didn’t want to burden my friends with my problems, I don’t know how to talk about my feelings. I ruin all of my relationships, I feel like being groomed and SAd when I was so young has permanently affected and damaged my mind. I’m disgusting and filthy and I don’t know how to have normal relationships. I fall for almost anyone who gives me the slightest bit of attention knowing they don’t like me like that. I feel so empty inside, I have no passion or ambition to do anything. I’ve hardly gotten out of my bed for weeks, my hair is terribly matted, my sleep schedule is terrible, and I have no social life. I’m always sleeping or on my phone, I’m too scared to even go out in public. I finally cleaned my room but it made no difference in how I’m feeling, no one knows how I’m feeling. Everyone thinks I’m doing fine. Everyday I feel like I’m getting closer to killing myself.