I am struggling to find reasons to really keep going anymore i have a huge lack of self esteem and im worried im secretly a narcissistic abuser but i dont know and i dont know how to fix myself or my feelings or all the sad things that happened to me i dont get it and im worried im just going to give up, i dont want my only reasons to stay be someone else but i really don’t have any other reason and im finding myself losing interest in everything It feels like its coming soon and im just painfully waiting I hate being scared of what people think of me or being scared of vulnerability I either complain too much or not enough, where does it end? When will it end? Am i seriously ever going to get better? I don’t know what will work or help anymore maybe this is just what im doomed to feel forever