There is a yearning in my heart that I seek out to satiate. Desperately I want for a life that isn't dreadful to live. I want to wake up in the morning and dread work a little less, even if I hate my job I want to have something in my day to look forward to. I feel like there isn't a single place in the world that can offer that. I want to be loved, but I am afraid that is impossible. Watching people's reaction to people like me reminds me that there aren't that many people in the world who would be open minded enough to try to understand, much less genuinely love me. I am tired of my identity having a political nuance to it. I don't want life to be as complicated as saying "oh you're asexual. I know everything about you because I'm also queer and I have strong political values." or "oh you're asexual. You're a disgrace for not wanting to fill the world with babies." I am afraid there is nowhere in the world where I will feel like it's ok for me to just exist.