I feel so sad. I feel like I dont have enough control or comfort in my life. There is parts of my life I wish I could change or hurry up. It makes me so mad when people get in my way, dont help or pretend to be someone to rely on when they really only care about themselves. I dont have the relationships I want in my life. I have been single for so long I dont like having ppl around or they really have to be someone I want around. I am always finding reasons why a relationship wont work. Its not such a bad thing, I try to look into what my future would be like with someone and if its an age thing, job thing, what they do with their extra time or even when they go to bed that I think "oh they stay up till 1am, I wouldnt ever be able to do that on a regular basis, and I wake up at 6:30am so then I would wake them up and that could turn into a fight and then my morning and their morning is ruined and my day is going to be shit b/c that all happened".