my mom is drinking again. i love her so much, but i also hate her so much. i miss the times when she didn't drink. she's always weird when drunk. never violent, but i remember crying one time because she was drunk and squeezed my elbow, which hurt. i was eleven. eleven and crying over my drunk mother. her and my dad used to get into arguments about her drinking in the past. i remember one day my dad found an empty bottle in the bathroom and confronted her about it. today i found out she bought two bottles of smirnoff watermelon vodka. she has fatty liver, and had been clean for so long from alcohol. my dad was deployed yesterday. today i found the two bottles. i'd rather drink them myself than have my mom relapse again.