Waiting for a therapist after I was raised in an abusive life. We starved and had to go out and SCAVENGE for food, the electricity bills were unpaid, be home alone for days, maybe even weeks at a time. You could be strangled, choked on the floor, blood pouring out of your FINGERS. Then, you go to school, the only place that provides for food and yet you still get bullied, beaten. Alone, isolated from everyone. No friends, nobody to call family. You have schizophrenic and bipolar tendencies that also run very heavily in your bloodline. You hallucinate for months at a time. You lose yourself entirely, staring at mirrors for days, weeks, who knows? Everything seems fake. Everything seems gone, like you've already died. Whenever you beg others for help, from the screaming in your ears, help from the shadows watching you, they all say you're on drugs when your not? Then when cps gets involved you move houses 4 times, new families, new cities. All you want is to die. The anxiety and fear.