the text i never sent to the girl i loved to "pink tulip chiswick girl", you blocked me on social media, that's acceptable. but i can't stop replaying scenarios in my head of seeing you again, or being with you. we could have prevented that messy breakup so bad. but i'm actually so pissed at you, because you assume after all this time by sending me a dark green unsent note in my name asking if i ever truly loved you. that angered me, of course i did. i still can't get over you and it's been a month since we last spoke on the phone. i did so much for you, opened up thinking we had something together and we could be. i even chose to believe stories of people who got back with their ex and are now married but i fed myself into lies. i can't go on anymore thinking of you. i have to move on, i know i do. you've probably moved on, i keep reopening messages and feeding the wound again. i need to heal, but i miss you. how could we ever be friends when i swore you were my future bride? tell me.