deep down, i always knew i hated being asked to do something. i don't know if you'd call it depression, adhd, procrastination whatever. whenever anyone in my family asks me to do a chore, i get defensive and start getting angry with them and arguing about it. i just don't want to do it. and i wish i didn't think like that, i wish i just wouldn't get defensive instantly and just be normal. i feel like a nuisance to my family and that's why i plan to leave, and lose contact, forever. maybe they'd be better off this way. with my own work and studies, i won't do it. i wanna spend all my life doing absolutely nothing but watching youtube videos and tv shows. the only time i feel productive is when i go to the gym to workout, somehow its even harder to not do gym than to do it. i don't know. my mum has never validated me properly for anything, on my 16th birthday all i got was a 5 pound cake from tesco and a "happy birthday" but all i wanted was to be loved, properly, and accepted.