i feel a bit disgusted with myself i want to be ridiculously close with someone... they've been interacting more with people who experience the same disordered experience as them recently and it's made me feel jealous. i feel like the only thing keeping me from being close with them is that i don't experience this same disorder. im grossed out because i started wanting to have it just so i could be included. "im already halfway there" (haha.. sure) "i experience some of the symptoms" (whatever) "i grw up surrounded by people with this so I understand it!!!" "maybe i could..." NOOOOOOO!!! i literally feel nauseous im so grossed out by this line of thinking... i feel so guilty and tired and out of control
people1 felt this