I really need to stop drinking every night, I know alcoholism runs in my family and I've seen firsthand what it can do to people, but my situation is so bad right now that I don't know how else I'm gonna get through it without killing myself. It's not even my drug of choice, I prefer thc edibles, but I was recently forced to move to an illegal state and I'm job hunting so I need to be able to pass a drug test. the only other thing I've found that can shut off my anxiety and despair is kratom but my tolerance to it builds so fast that if I take it more often than like once a week at most I won't even be able to feel it anymore. It just sucks because my mental health being awful right now is a direct result of me having to live with my emotionally abusive parents, so I know it's not gonna get better until I'm able to move out, and I have no idea how long that will be. I know there will be consequences in the long term but right now I just need something to help me get through this.