my health is getting worse. im still being abused at home verbally. and my DID is undiagnosed and untreated. i keep showing signs of BPD, i can feel myself slipping into psychosis again. i am so sick and tired of psychotic episodes i just want to see people with skin. i want to not see so much gore. im exhausted all the time, there is no relief from it. im either in a manic like state or so fucking low, and my DID is disabling. my EDS is horrid and im too light. i want it to end and i want to be happy, i want to be happy without being manic. i want to live in peace godsdammit. i want to slip back into addiction, i was 10 when i got addicted. im barely fucking 14. i dont want to be in yet another untreated psychotic episode on my birthday, i just wanna sleep in peace and walk again. i want to kill myself because ive lost everything worth living for. art, craft, exploring, all my hobbies are gone. im moving house and the whole world is just too much, i want it all to end please